Sunday, July 25, 2010

This post is about Mathira

I wouldnt lie. I do have alot of time even after work to update the blog, its just sheer laziness that I have just managed two posts in four months. I'm working on that.

She comes as a breath of fresh air for our lower-middle class and as a direct, cut-throat competition to Meera Jee. She will also soon out-do Meera in all walks of life.

Interestingly, a post on somebody else's blog made me write this one. I wanted to to be the first to write about this but XYZ at Cafepyala beat me by a few days and still did a lousy job. Here is the link to the post and the comment thread, high in entertainment value, more than the psot itself.

Whats astonishing is that considering the local blog scene and how it has an opinion about the most trivial issues, updates news and issues almost in real time, still has nothing to say about the Vibe princess. Are the local bloggers completely oblivious to the issue or just choose to ignore it because they have more to write about Ali Zafar's new movie- 'Tere Bin Laden'?

Cafepyala wrote a post about Mathira so I finally thought that atleast people are noticing it. Only to find out that the post provided good entertainment to its readers with Mathira's video and a few lame comments which I will be posting here. Its primarily because of these comments that I sat down to write.

I can guarantee you that more than half the people reading this post would know about Mathira by now. She's everywhere. She comes live on the channel Vibe from 12 am till 2 am and she's also everywhere on-demand on Youtube and Facebook. The day is not far when DVDs of her show will be available at Home Video. Or maybe they're already in the market- the infamous Rainbow Centre. I also tried googling her to find out where she's come from ( her accent is certainly not local, unless she worked in a call centre here) and I found entire blogs dedicated to her pictures and posts describing her body parts in intricate detail, brilliantly. Whatever I know about her or I've heard is that she's originally from Kenya so basically she's African. She made her debut with a yoga show on Vibe in early 2008. Back then, her real talent had not been discovered or capitalised upon so she was usually seen teaching yoga, wearing pretty decent clothes at that time. I had the opportunity of watching her in that show, and I clearly remember her talking about 'curvatures', 'yoga for a voluptuous body', 'protruding butts'.

With that, probably the response was insanely overwhelming and the result was the next season of 'Curvacious Yoga' with Mathira in a sports bra.

Way more than what Pakistani audience could handle. And I am sure they were not able to, but since the show wasn't interactive, it stayed in peoples' pants. Thats the point when the Peoples' Meter went abnormally high and Vibe stumbled upon a lucrative business model. Finally. They came up with 'Love Indicator'.

The channel Vibe descrivbes the show as
"Is it really love? Find out from the professional"
The word 'professional' here is a little unclear, ambiguous and questionable for me. The show was initially designed so that people could call in and get 'love advice' from Mathira. I am not sure if that ever happened. Mind you, I am an ardent follower of the show. If you've gotten to know Mathira thorugh on-demand videos on Youtube, then you'd be having some idea about what her show has turned into. Have a look.

I fail to understand how PEMRA is allowing this show to be aired. Some people would give the argument of Lollywood movies being worse than this. I completely agree, but again they're not being thrown at you on national television. Not just the nature of the show is questionable, but also the way she is dressed, the reaction she is getting from live-callers and the way she is slowly creating a niche for her show. The niche consisting of thoses masses who would call in, flirt with her and tell her who 'refreshed' they feel after watching her show on mute (this happened on her show last night). Besides this niche are those female viewers who are genuinely impressed by her, her clothes, not to mention her body too. People have told me about little girls calling on her show and asking her 'mujhe aap apne jaisa bana dein'. Now, should'nt this be a little alarming or am I just over-reacting?

Lets not get into the debate of 'she bringing it onto herself' and 'the callers are all perverts'. With a show of this nature and target market, these screw-ups are inevitable. Sometimes the cleavage isaa bit too loud for the callers to handle and sometimes they'd do it because they're twice as muslims as other muslim and they want to 'teach her a lesson'. Read the comments on the videos I have posted and you'd know exactly what I mean. My point being, this would happen for one reason or some other. It doesnt stop here. The reprecussions this would have on our already-fucked society are beyond comprehension. Following the great business model, KTN, Sindh Tv, Dhoom, Zam tv, Ujala Tv and Rung tv would start a show along the same lines and finally start breaking-even. And yes, there is absolutely no justification of these kind of shows representing 'open-media'. This is certainly not open-media, nor does it represent liberalism and 'live-and-let-live' philosophy by any definition. Possibly, the only advantage of this show is the social service this show could be doing to our Pakistani men of a platform being given to let their frustration out. Yes, Mathira. One for the team.

Now coming to Cafepyala's post. One major issue I had with his post was that, he suggested a solution to the problems I just discussed. According to XYZ, a five second delay would solve the issues to an extent and the show could be censored. Thats what we've gotten used to. Its because of censorship that we won the 1965 war (which we actually and politically lost). Cafepyala's post failed to identify the real issue and gave a superficial, transient cover-up, sweeping Mathira and her Love indicator under the carpet.

These are the comments on that post.

Vagabond said...
Wait a second, XYZ. Its like saying, suicide bombings can happen if it must but it shouldnt be shown on tv.

Maybe a little exaggerated, but my point is that why show such programmes on tv anyway. How the hell is PEMRA allowing such explicit stuff on tv. Whats left is that the rest of the failed channels would follow suit and Vibe's lucrative business model and hire a glorified, street girl as a host and make money out of it.

I dint understand why your emphasis was on time-delay rather than the show itself. I'd be writing post about it soon. Do read.

Mackers said...
What kind of dumbass analogy is that. A little exaggerated? The reason a time delay works is because on any show you will always have the odd utpatang batein by a certain section. You will always have some saying inappropriate things, whether it be to Mathira or Nadia Khan. As long as a girl isn't wearing dupatta, they are open game for closet taliban. What will you ask PEMRA to do then, ban all girls without dupattas? Then the spectrum will further shift right and anyone not wearing dupatta 'appropriately' will be open game.

Explicit stuff? glorified street-girl? Hahahaha
Maybe glorified mullahs like yourself should stop preaching and not watch, if you have a problem. Guess what, in life there are a host of things you find explicit. Maybe if you want to avoid them, don't go looking for them. See a channel you don't like? Flip channels! And please don't try give me rubbish about how humari youth aur humare bache kharab ho jain gay. There is such a thing as parental control. People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas.

The fact that you might even try equate suicide bombings to this provides evidence of your lunacy. You know the type of people that make calls to chat shit, they are the very same that believe that yeh toh besharam hai isko kuch bhi kaho. In other words, the mullah type of thinking

Vagabond said...
Hey Saad, maybe Mackers could add subtitles to the video since he thinks the spectrum would shift righward if such programmes are banned.

On the flip side what he fails to realise is that the spectrum would also shift leftward if its not taken care of. Then such programmes would set the benchmark and because it sells, other low-budget channels would take a step further.

And then he talks about parental control. It tells alot about his upbringing in a world where all parents know about parental-control. What about not so sensible parents? Somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna chati hoon'.

And dude stop giving me this new-age 'live and let live' bullshit. Your comment makes sense for an 18 year old, advocating freedom of media and the utopian let-live philosophy. But if you're older than you need to stop hanging out with people who love to discuss and support the legalise-alcohol and let-live arguments vehemently.

Parents live in Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad dont know about parental control. Even if they do, they're not sensible enough to stop their children from watching such programmes.

Then you also talk about moving abroad and finding such stuff abroad.

"People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas."

I detest Paris Hilton and her reality shows as much as I hate Mathira. So, your argument of 'being okay with such stuff abroad' is completely illegitimate. Just because somethings American and screwed up doesnt mean its justified. I

I really hope your're no older than 18 because only then I'd call you sensible for your age.

PS- you also sound like a huge Paris Hilton fan. 'Facebook Like'

Mackers said...

Nobody gives a damn about your notion of 'sensible' parenting. You are not gonna be deciding for anyone what the sensible way for them to parent is. Yeah, alright, my upbringing was at fault. But,if someone like you came along and decided to tell my parents how to be sensible, they would go to work on you with a danda, faster than you can scream 'mommy'

Oh, and somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna bilkul nahi chati hoon'. Apparently, one of them was you.

And, 'live and let live' is "new-age"? Maybe if you ventured outside you little nukar in mullahpur, you would realize it's not all about 'kill and kill some more' or even 'don't let live and subjugate'

Anyways, it doesn't even matter, the fact is PEMRA isn't your daddy's jagir. Sad day for you :)

Vagabond said...
There is no point have this discussion here. I have gauged from your comments, you have not even hit puberty yet. Have a good day.

Anonymous said...

Admit it, Mackers had a better argument than you did.

Why do you think Mackers hasn't hit puberty yet? Because she/he writes better than you do?

You seem to have some real problems with reality

Vagabond said...
Anonymous, seriously. He's talking about parental control. It's beyond hilarious how micro his way of approaching things is.

Writes better than me? Again, thanks for reinforcing my puberty-argument. You seem like one of his legalise-alcohol-legalise-pubs supporting friend.

Wish you all the best in this puberty-to-adolescence transition. Ta Ta.

Mackers said...
I agree with Vagabond, my way of thinking is "micro." He knows how to solve everyone's problems. He will go 'macro' on us. He will start in Pakistan by banning all the TV programmes, and other stuff, he finds explicit. Then, he will take his jihad global, and teach the world the harms of 'explicit' stuff and the correct ways of parenting. He will make the Orwellian Big Brother look like a weak-sauce jackass. He will start with Asia, and all the surrounding countries including Japan, Korea, Singapore, China, India, and etc. He will continue on to the middle-east: Dubai (UAE), Qatar, and the Gulf, in general. Saudi and Iran, he has already convinced so no problems there. Europe and the Americas will be a bit tough, but he will get there. Any naysayers will be promptly lectured and refuted with the indubitable argument that they are stuck in puberty and should grow up. With such supreme logic, all and sundry will be convinced. From there, global domination is his. Sensible parenting for the world! Muahahahahaha, Vagabond khush hua.
Please don't try convincing Vagabond with "new-age" logic such as 'live and let live.' Vagabond "vehemently" opposes that. And please do read his blog, Vagabond has spent many late nights reading the Oxford English Dictionary, and his hard work shouldn't go to waste.

Vagabond said...
Listen buddy, you need to take your SouthPark-inspired definition of 'macro', which according to you means sweep-conquering the entire world, somewhere else. Probably to Mathira's show, which might multiply its viewership and earn you some royalty. You could use the money earned to open up more channels, import cheap laboured sex workers from Africa as hosts to provide our country's men some 'Live-Phone-Sex-And-Some-Action'. Ohh yeah, actually you could use this as a name for one of your shows.

And yeah, you schematic kid, where did Jihad come from in this discussion? That was cute-logic. Good one. You thought, just because I support banning of such programmes, I am a Jihadi, with a beard longer than Osama's, holding a danda in my hand and hitting all Burqua-less women. Love your stoner-creativity. You could also try working for Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Lets address this too. It is not because of any religous opinions I hold that I am of this view, but based on social norms and values that you clearly would'nt know of. I dont blame you. Seriously, I dont. You've spent half your life categorising people and assigning them tags and the rest on Facebook.

Well, I also dont know where Oxford English Dictionary came in in this conversation. Now that you have, let me tell you this. Had you ever read books in your life, you wouldnt have to go to everytime. By watching SouthPark, FamilyGuy, American Dad and LOVE INDICATOR, you can only learn enough English language to come up with illogical, illegitimate cheap shots for lame comments on blogs you stumble upon by mistake, while looking for Love Indicator's official website.

Have a great day.

PS- dont forget to watch Love Indicator tonight.

Fischer said...
Although i dont completely agree with vagabond, but still his argument is better. i mean mackers, you dont know how to reason. The jihad reference is irresponsible and ignorant.

I personally think mathira kind of shows are already sweeping the tv industries so they cant be banned. but giving pakistanis a 'life' would be a good thing to do :D

Mackers said...
Uncle Jee, you inspired in me such love for cheap shots that I haven't looked back. If you are searching South Park for the definition to macro, then I can only apologize. I didn't mean to confuse you. Try any standard English dictionary and you will be well on your way. However, I still can't understand what the hell "schematic kid" means. Are you suggesting that I resemble a diagram. I don't know whether to be offended or pleased.

Also, I am not the best in mathematics but I am reasonably sure that if I become a viewer of Mathira's show then I will add to and not multiply the viewership. Aur agar aap ko koi tareeka pata hai uss se royalty lehneh ka toh batain. Baron seh kuch seekhnay ko toh mileh.
Aur, sir, I really thought you were against "how micro" my "way of approaching things" is. Why think so micro and restrict yourself to "sweep-conquering" Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad, 'the dens of unsuitable parents.' I know you are so much better than that. Think global uncle jee! I know, with some effort, you can do it. After taking over PEMRA, you can take it worldwide. Our first multinational! Oh the possibilities!

This was the comment thread between me and Mackers. After his last comment, I stopped commenting because it had just come down to disses and offending each other. The entire point had been negated.


  1. what the fuck is this shit?!?!

  2. Uffff....i thought i was the ONLY intense, karachiite blogger on this earth..but u r nearly surpassing to read my stuff on Meera?

    and my whole blog at
    The Emotional Lava
    i promise ..u won't be disappointed!!have become ur follower now..hope to see u on my list too ;-))

  3. Firstly, the two comments above me are a pitiful excuse for comments. Akbar seems to take offense on behalf of Mathira and Catgirl is more interested in roosting for her own blog.

    Anyways, back to the topic. The title is as unimaginative as unimaginative can be. Very clinical, i must say.

    I had heard of Mathira before the Five Rupees' post but had never seen her on TV. After watching her show's clips on Youtube and hearing people commending on her 'himmat' in bardashtofying 'gracefully', I wasn't impressed.
    The girl is obviously many a producer/director's couch-casting champion, as she becomes an early morning yoga instructor on one channel and then moves on to be a late night talk show host come slutty love guru.
    She is not as innane as she tries to be. I mean when you are leaning into the camera showing your cleavage and asking the callers to remember their maa and behens, thats ridiculous.
    Asoolan, yeh program allow hi nahi hona chahiye. But as with everything in our country, the double standards of PEMRA prevails.
    I dont even think Mathira is her real name.

  4. Wow...thats really quite a conversation between you and mackers. It was definitely interesting to read both sides of the argument; clearly you're both passionate about what ur saying.

    However - This much, I've gotta say - I think finally Pakistan is taking a step forward through the media and letting the masses have some sort of outlet. Like, she knows what she's doing...and she knows the kinds of people she's appealing to - yet she's agreed to do it. She’s a grown woman – if its legal and she’s willing, I don’t see a problem…. perhaps she is taking one for the team. Someone needed to. Now they can focus more on her and less on molesting cows, children and unsuspecting women in open bazaars. I mean you say so yourself that the sight of her in a sports bra was more than Pakistani men could handle - why? That's not even hugely vulgar or anything. And a little bit of cleavage.... just a little bit... it'll go a long way in helping the green turban-wearing crazies relax. We can't be stuck in the middle ages forever, if only our guys could get used to women in workout wear, or a touch of would not be a bad thing at all. And what is wrong with 'live and let live'? Its seems far more reasonable than 'censor and opress' , and really thats what that level of censorship leads to. I’m not trying to piss you off or anything, I just hope you’ll consider the impact even this kind of tasteless ‘freedom of expression’ (for the lack of a better phrase) will have on the average deprived Pakistani male. Perhaps soon, he’ll begin feeling less deprived and hence become less gropey and gross. Don’t take it personally, I’m sure you don’t grab asses at Sunday bazaar… but believe me, as a woman, you’re really affected by this kind of mentality.

    And you know, they should prolly just not air the show during prime time or anything, save it for later hours when all the little ones are asleep…. Or heck , even the 5-second delay idea isn’t bad, unless this is exactly the kind of call they want, lol

    I'd love to hear more from your perspective, too many liberals around in cyberspace (me being one of them :P) but yah... Thanks for joining my blog. I's love to hear your opinions... surely such open posts about sex can't be to your liking? Or do those not bother you?

  5. I totally disagree with you. Having adolscents get a hard-on by watching Mathira is going to increase their probability of leering at other women, cows and goats in the open public.
    If pornography was going to keep the perverts at bay, this whole Mathira issue would not have arose in the first place.

    Even if I take your 'live and let live' theory at its face value and apply it wholeheartedly, dont u think Mathira is being a huge hypocrite. She deliberately pushes her cleavage in the face of the camera, knows the kind of audience she is catering to, and then when she gets the intended reaction thru her callers, she is like tch tch tch...moharram may bhi sharam nahi ati...and all that shit!

    And when someone tells her she's looking nice, and she extends the conversation with a nauseating 'aur, aur, aur?' and then he carrys on by 'mujhe aap bohat achi lagti hain'....and she still asks for 'aur,aur, aur?' what exactly is she wanting to hear?

    She should come up with equally raunchy retorts if she wants to do a raunchy show post midnight on a sleazy channel, and not act like a saint who doesnt know her 'choot' from her 'gaand'.

  6. Eiynah, thanks for commenting. By the way, you're the one from the 'nice mangoes' blog right? I stumbled upon it randomly, and yeah, it's great read.

    Now coming to your comment, you sound pretty reasonable here. I agree to what you're trying to say, atleast partially. But then, you see, PEMRA should also sort of ease down with their policies so whatever is being done, should be done according to their standards and with complete legitimacy . I went through PEMRA's code of conduct recently, and trust me, based on that, Sialkot lynching can be repeated, with Mathira as the victim this time. PEMRA certainly needs to relax its clauses. Currently, and after going through the code of conduct document, I have doubts about the content being legal. PEMRA needs to work on that.

    Now, the issue with 'live and let live'is that it can be applied anywhere in the world but Pakistan. I really really wish it was otherwise though. Generally, it's difficult to apply in a collectivist, closely-knit societies like ours. We're talking about a society where just randomly 5 bearded, mullahs would surround you and take you to a 3 day 'Tableekh' or religious wandering. It's a century more till the concept of 'live and let live' sinks in.

    The dark Zia years have done so much damage to us, we're still stuck in the 80s. The idea of a local giving yoga classes in her sports bra is something that the masses really haven't been able to digest. The change has to be brought, but it has to be gradual to the point that it's almost subliminal. Because if is not, it would not get accepted. Mathira is too radical a change at this point. The masses, I feel, are not ready for this, hence the chaos and people going haywire. I still remember, a decade back, in the mid 90s, some lunatic religious movement started where mullah went around throwing acid on women exposing skin. By exposing skin, I mean sleeveless. Those were some crazy times. But we cant forget the fact that we're the same nation, just a decade has passed. We certainly don't want that all over again. This could happen if we just throw liberalism at these masses, of which, unfortunately, these crazy mullahs are a major part. Lets-fuck-with-their-brains-slowly-and-make-them-sane is all I am saying, precisely.

    One last thing. You said

    "I’m sure you don’t grab asses at Sunday bazaar… but believe me, as a woman, you’re really affected by this kind of mentality."

    How am I affected by this kind of mentality? Please elaborate. Did you mean 'THEY' are really affected by this mentality? Thanks.

  7. A lot of interesting things being said here, I can see where you're coming from where you say we shouldn't just 'throw' liberalism at the masses..... that makes perfect sense...but I believe where we disagree is the pace of the actual process.... I mean, I guess one could look at it as a big step... but I was under the impression that we've slowly been trying to fill up the whole that that fucker Zia left in our country's soul... like first we allowed women without dupattas on Tv, then we allowed then in western clothes... we even allowed more channels... I can see that if we went straight from head covering TV hosts to sports-bra wearing yoga instructors, that would totally create an uproar. Whichever way you choose to look at it, the bottom line is, we are a nation of jaahils, and thats why the masses have so many issues. But thats a whole other story. And you're right, this nation of jaahils needs to be eased into liberlism... i just thought we were taking it a step at a time... mind you, this last step has been a big one...but it has been a step nonetheless. THere are double standards of course, thats what creates all the confusion in the first place. I haven't looked at PEMRA's code of conduct or anything, but i'm sure it's plagued with contradictions - they definitely need to sort themselves out. In fact, everyone at every level in Pakistan is soo confused, from regulatory bodies - to the average 'javed'...

    if we could only self reflect, and sort out our own values first. I mean, how many desis are there, that stop drinking just for ramadan? I mean fuck, if u think drinking is bad, dont do it. Don't just stop for one month and act all holier than thou. Also, what about the mullah types that think smoking up is ok, but drinking is bad... the list is endless... Mathira isn't the only hypocrite...

    In the end, I think we actually agree with each other, but prefer different methods and different paces. :)

    Thanks, I'm glad u enjoy Nice Mangos :D It's been such a pain in the ass to interview people about sexuality!

    oh and I meant 'They' as in , 'the women' - although it could be argued that as a guy it would have its own effects on the decent men of Karachi, because women will be more reluctant to trust you , since the reputation of the average Pakistani male has been screwed by the ass grabbers, I'm not sure if im getting my point across here, its still early on this side of the world :P but lets just say that when there are pervs out there, everyone suffers... men and women.

  8. I came across the Mackers discussion on XYZs' blog and it caught my interest.

    I believe the real issue is exactly where you and Nice Mangoes leave it. Past all the subliminal experimentation and Zia bashings :P, its more worthwhile to talk in the context of what, and where we as a nation want to end up.

    What I see are two roads. One is the so-called mullah avenue. This one is all about us becoming a true Islamic country, with Shariat Courts, censored Tv, Islamic laws, the whole package.

    The second is the "freedoms" road, just like america has :) legalize / freedom-ise every thing, make it a mini Amsterdam. Make religion a very personal matter. Make the Islamic Republic of Pakistan secular :D

    See, its really important to prioritize. If we really, truly think that masses should be gradually weaned away from purdah and we should be a "progressive moderate" country, by all means go the whole 10 yards.

    But if we do believe in Islam, and in there being a Hereafter, maybe we need to reset our goals. Let there be no cable nonsense like this. Let the divine (to the believing) laws be implemented, no matter what a superpower says about human rights and the "correct way of punishment." I could go on and on.

    I know implementing any of the two models is near impossible, but adopting one for ones OWN life is completely doable. It would be way better to align with one; give your life clarity!

    We have so many contradictions within our society on this. We repeat "Allah kare pakistan jeet jaye" when the team plays India, while missing the obligatory prayers. A sizable portion see the mosque from Eid to Eid, the slightly more religious Friday to Friday. No way can Eid namaz be missed. The whole 'mohalla' notices if someone misses it. Ever notice Eid namaz is not obligatory? Compare and contrast with the daily prayers. Why have we made Islam simply cultural? Lets stop the nonsense. And defacing the spirit of the faith. Or hell, stop letting this stigma be associated with your country, depending on which side of the line you stand.

    I dont want to make it insufferably long. The gist remains the importance of choosing where we stand, and for once not straddling the fence.

  9. I am not a mullah or admirer of any "street girl" but if any one happen to read HOLY QURAN with translation then it is clearly told by ALLAH (SWT) the "sattar of woman" and the same is also described in detail by MUHAMMAD (PBUH). Leave mathira aside and just look around you and you'll see many womans that are just in a race to expose themselves as much as they can, some less and some more. Just ask yourselves is this under Islamic priciple? Who gave them these relaxations? These laws were made approx 1400 years ago, then what is happening?
    My friends!!! all these things are leading to just one conclusion and that is "End of the World" is just around the corner, so instead of commenting on anyone else start praying to ALLAH to forgive us and let us live the life that is according to Islam. We all are educated so why to go after Mullah, read HOLY QURAN with translation and AHADEES for the betterment of your life.
    One thing more you cannot correct anyone by force until one accept this from heart.
    I request PEMRA to look into such issues as Pakitan was made in the name of Islam and so must be presented through our channels.