Sunday, July 25, 2010

This post is about Mathira

I wouldnt lie. I do have alot of time even after work to update the blog, its just sheer laziness that I have just managed two posts in four months. I'm working on that.

She comes as a breath of fresh air for our lower-middle class and as a direct, cut-throat competition to Meera Jee. She will also soon out-do Meera in all walks of life.

Interestingly, a post on somebody else's blog made me write this one. I wanted to to be the first to write about this but XYZ at Cafepyala beat me by a few days and still did a lousy job. Here is the link to the post and the comment thread, high in entertainment value, more than the psot itself.

Whats astonishing is that considering the local blog scene and how it has an opinion about the most trivial issues, updates news and issues almost in real time, still has nothing to say about the Vibe princess. Are the local bloggers completely oblivious to the issue or just choose to ignore it because they have more to write about Ali Zafar's new movie- 'Tere Bin Laden'?

Cafepyala wrote a post about Mathira so I finally thought that atleast people are noticing it. Only to find out that the post provided good entertainment to its readers with Mathira's video and a few lame comments which I will be posting here. Its primarily because of these comments that I sat down to write.

I can guarantee you that more than half the people reading this post would know about Mathira by now. She's everywhere. She comes live on the channel Vibe from 12 am till 2 am and she's also everywhere on-demand on Youtube and Facebook. The day is not far when DVDs of her show will be available at Home Video. Or maybe they're already in the market- the infamous Rainbow Centre. I also tried googling her to find out where she's come from ( her accent is certainly not local, unless she worked in a call centre here) and I found entire blogs dedicated to her pictures and posts describing her body parts in intricate detail, brilliantly. Whatever I know about her or I've heard is that she's originally from Kenya so basically she's African. She made her debut with a yoga show on Vibe in early 2008. Back then, her real talent had not been discovered or capitalised upon so she was usually seen teaching yoga, wearing pretty decent clothes at that time. I had the opportunity of watching her in that show, and I clearly remember her talking about 'curvatures', 'yoga for a voluptuous body', 'protruding butts'.

With that, probably the response was insanely overwhelming and the result was the next season of 'Curvacious Yoga' with Mathira in a sports bra.

Way more than what Pakistani audience could handle. And I am sure they were not able to, but since the show wasn't interactive, it stayed in peoples' pants. Thats the point when the Peoples' Meter went abnormally high and Vibe stumbled upon a lucrative business model. Finally. They came up with 'Love Indicator'.

The channel Vibe descrivbes the show as
"Is it really love? Find out from the professional"
The word 'professional' here is a little unclear, ambiguous and questionable for me. The show was initially designed so that people could call in and get 'love advice' from Mathira. I am not sure if that ever happened. Mind you, I am an ardent follower of the show. If you've gotten to know Mathira thorugh on-demand videos on Youtube, then you'd be having some idea about what her show has turned into. Have a look.

I fail to understand how PEMRA is allowing this show to be aired. Some people would give the argument of Lollywood movies being worse than this. I completely agree, but again they're not being thrown at you on national television. Not just the nature of the show is questionable, but also the way she is dressed, the reaction she is getting from live-callers and the way she is slowly creating a niche for her show. The niche consisting of thoses masses who would call in, flirt with her and tell her who 'refreshed' they feel after watching her show on mute (this happened on her show last night). Besides this niche are those female viewers who are genuinely impressed by her, her clothes, not to mention her body too. People have told me about little girls calling on her show and asking her 'mujhe aap apne jaisa bana dein'. Now, should'nt this be a little alarming or am I just over-reacting?

Lets not get into the debate of 'she bringing it onto herself' and 'the callers are all perverts'. With a show of this nature and target market, these screw-ups are inevitable. Sometimes the cleavage isaa bit too loud for the callers to handle and sometimes they'd do it because they're twice as muslims as other muslim and they want to 'teach her a lesson'. Read the comments on the videos I have posted and you'd know exactly what I mean. My point being, this would happen for one reason or some other. It doesnt stop here. The reprecussions this would have on our already-fucked society are beyond comprehension. Following the great business model, KTN, Sindh Tv, Dhoom, Zam tv, Ujala Tv and Rung tv would start a show along the same lines and finally start breaking-even. And yes, there is absolutely no justification of these kind of shows representing 'open-media'. This is certainly not open-media, nor does it represent liberalism and 'live-and-let-live' philosophy by any definition. Possibly, the only advantage of this show is the social service this show could be doing to our Pakistani men of a platform being given to let their frustration out. Yes, Mathira. One for the team.

Now coming to Cafepyala's post. One major issue I had with his post was that, he suggested a solution to the problems I just discussed. According to XYZ, a five second delay would solve the issues to an extent and the show could be censored. Thats what we've gotten used to. Its because of censorship that we won the 1965 war (which we actually and politically lost). Cafepyala's post failed to identify the real issue and gave a superficial, transient cover-up, sweeping Mathira and her Love indicator under the carpet.

These are the comments on that post.

Vagabond said...
Wait a second, XYZ. Its like saying, suicide bombings can happen if it must but it shouldnt be shown on tv.

Maybe a little exaggerated, but my point is that why show such programmes on tv anyway. How the hell is PEMRA allowing such explicit stuff on tv. Whats left is that the rest of the failed channels would follow suit and Vibe's lucrative business model and hire a glorified, street girl as a host and make money out of it.

I dint understand why your emphasis was on time-delay rather than the show itself. I'd be writing post about it soon. Do read.

Mackers said...
What kind of dumbass analogy is that. A little exaggerated? The reason a time delay works is because on any show you will always have the odd utpatang batein by a certain section. You will always have some saying inappropriate things, whether it be to Mathira or Nadia Khan. As long as a girl isn't wearing dupatta, they are open game for closet taliban. What will you ask PEMRA to do then, ban all girls without dupattas? Then the spectrum will further shift right and anyone not wearing dupatta 'appropriately' will be open game.

Explicit stuff? glorified street-girl? Hahahaha
Maybe glorified mullahs like yourself should stop preaching and not watch, if you have a problem. Guess what, in life there are a host of things you find explicit. Maybe if you want to avoid them, don't go looking for them. See a channel you don't like? Flip channels! And please don't try give me rubbish about how humari youth aur humare bache kharab ho jain gay. There is such a thing as parental control. People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas.

The fact that you might even try equate suicide bombings to this provides evidence of your lunacy. You know the type of people that make calls to chat shit, they are the very same that believe that yeh toh besharam hai isko kuch bhi kaho. In other words, the mullah type of thinking

Vagabond said...
Hey Saad, maybe Mackers could add subtitles to the video since he thinks the spectrum would shift righward if such programmes are banned.

On the flip side what he fails to realise is that the spectrum would also shift leftward if its not taken care of. Then such programmes would set the benchmark and because it sells, other low-budget channels would take a step further.

And then he talks about parental control. It tells alot about his upbringing in a world where all parents know about parental-control. What about not so sensible parents? Somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna chati hoon'.

And dude stop giving me this new-age 'live and let live' bullshit. Your comment makes sense for an 18 year old, advocating freedom of media and the utopian let-live philosophy. But if you're older than you need to stop hanging out with people who love to discuss and support the legalise-alcohol and let-live arguments vehemently.

Parents live in Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad dont know about parental control. Even if they do, they're not sensible enough to stop their children from watching such programmes.

Then you also talk about moving abroad and finding such stuff abroad.

"People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas."

I detest Paris Hilton and her reality shows as much as I hate Mathira. So, your argument of 'being okay with such stuff abroad' is completely illegitimate. Just because somethings American and screwed up doesnt mean its justified. I

I really hope your're no older than 18 because only then I'd call you sensible for your age.

PS- you also sound like a huge Paris Hilton fan. 'Facebook Like'

Mackers said...

Nobody gives a damn about your notion of 'sensible' parenting. You are not gonna be deciding for anyone what the sensible way for them to parent is. Yeah, alright, my upbringing was at fault. But,if someone like you came along and decided to tell my parents how to be sensible, they would go to work on you with a danda, faster than you can scream 'mommy'

Oh, and somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna bilkul nahi chati hoon'. Apparently, one of them was you.

And, 'live and let live' is "new-age"? Maybe if you ventured outside you little nukar in mullahpur, you would realize it's not all about 'kill and kill some more' or even 'don't let live and subjugate'

Anyways, it doesn't even matter, the fact is PEMRA isn't your daddy's jagir. Sad day for you :)

Vagabond said...
There is no point have this discussion here. I have gauged from your comments, you have not even hit puberty yet. Have a good day.

Anonymous said...

Admit it, Mackers had a better argument than you did.

Why do you think Mackers hasn't hit puberty yet? Because she/he writes better than you do?

You seem to have some real problems with reality

Vagabond said...
Anonymous, seriously. He's talking about parental control. It's beyond hilarious how micro his way of approaching things is.

Writes better than me? Again, thanks for reinforcing my puberty-argument. You seem like one of his legalise-alcohol-legalise-pubs supporting friend.

Wish you all the best in this puberty-to-adolescence transition. Ta Ta.

Mackers said...
I agree with Vagabond, my way of thinking is "micro." He knows how to solve everyone's problems. He will go 'macro' on us. He will start in Pakistan by banning all the TV programmes, and other stuff, he finds explicit. Then, he will take his jihad global, and teach the world the harms of 'explicit' stuff and the correct ways of parenting. He will make the Orwellian Big Brother look like a weak-sauce jackass. He will start with Asia, and all the surrounding countries including Japan, Korea, Singapore, China, India, and etc. He will continue on to the middle-east: Dubai (UAE), Qatar, and the Gulf, in general. Saudi and Iran, he has already convinced so no problems there. Europe and the Americas will be a bit tough, but he will get there. Any naysayers will be promptly lectured and refuted with the indubitable argument that they are stuck in puberty and should grow up. With such supreme logic, all and sundry will be convinced. From there, global domination is his. Sensible parenting for the world! Muahahahahaha, Vagabond khush hua.
Please don't try convincing Vagabond with "new-age" logic such as 'live and let live.' Vagabond "vehemently" opposes that. And please do read his blog, Vagabond has spent many late nights reading the Oxford English Dictionary, and his hard work shouldn't go to waste.

Vagabond said...
Listen buddy, you need to take your SouthPark-inspired definition of 'macro', which according to you means sweep-conquering the entire world, somewhere else. Probably to Mathira's show, which might multiply its viewership and earn you some royalty. You could use the money earned to open up more channels, import cheap laboured sex workers from Africa as hosts to provide our country's men some 'Live-Phone-Sex-And-Some-Action'. Ohh yeah, actually you could use this as a name for one of your shows.

And yeah, you schematic kid, where did Jihad come from in this discussion? That was cute-logic. Good one. You thought, just because I support banning of such programmes, I am a Jihadi, with a beard longer than Osama's, holding a danda in my hand and hitting all Burqua-less women. Love your stoner-creativity. You could also try working for Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Lets address this too. It is not because of any religous opinions I hold that I am of this view, but based on social norms and values that you clearly would'nt know of. I dont blame you. Seriously, I dont. You've spent half your life categorising people and assigning them tags and the rest on Facebook.

Well, I also dont know where Oxford English Dictionary came in in this conversation. Now that you have, let me tell you this. Had you ever read books in your life, you wouldnt have to go to everytime. By watching SouthPark, FamilyGuy, American Dad and LOVE INDICATOR, you can only learn enough English language to come up with illogical, illegitimate cheap shots for lame comments on blogs you stumble upon by mistake, while looking for Love Indicator's official website.

Have a great day.

PS- dont forget to watch Love Indicator tonight.

Fischer said...
Although i dont completely agree with vagabond, but still his argument is better. i mean mackers, you dont know how to reason. The jihad reference is irresponsible and ignorant.

I personally think mathira kind of shows are already sweeping the tv industries so they cant be banned. but giving pakistanis a 'life' would be a good thing to do :D

Mackers said...
Uncle Jee, you inspired in me such love for cheap shots that I haven't looked back. If you are searching South Park for the definition to macro, then I can only apologize. I didn't mean to confuse you. Try any standard English dictionary and you will be well on your way. However, I still can't understand what the hell "schematic kid" means. Are you suggesting that I resemble a diagram. I don't know whether to be offended or pleased.

Also, I am not the best in mathematics but I am reasonably sure that if I become a viewer of Mathira's show then I will add to and not multiply the viewership. Aur agar aap ko koi tareeka pata hai uss se royalty lehneh ka toh batain. Baron seh kuch seekhnay ko toh mileh.
Aur, sir, I really thought you were against "how micro" my "way of approaching things" is. Why think so micro and restrict yourself to "sweep-conquering" Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad, 'the dens of unsuitable parents.' I know you are so much better than that. Think global uncle jee! I know, with some effort, you can do it. After taking over PEMRA, you can take it worldwide. Our first multinational! Oh the possibilities!

This was the comment thread between me and Mackers. After his last comment, I stopped commenting because it had just come down to disses and offending each other. The entire point had been negated.